Avoiding Misbehaviour

I've been reading a lot about avoiding misbehavior in toddlers and tips in dealing with tantrums because my boy is at a stage where he really tests my patience (most of the time!) lol.

I found very helpful advise from RollerCoaster.ie

Avoiding Misbehavior

• Plan Ahead
  Thinking about situations in advance can do a lot to avoid and reduce potential conflicts. For example making sure your child has brought some entertaining activities on a long train journey or planning a positive way for him to be involved in a shopping trip, could avoid tantrums and frustration.

• Have Good Routines
  Good clear routines around bedtime, mealtimes, homework etc, which make it clear about what is happening and what is expected can really avoid problems. Sit down and plan the routines you want to build up in your family. Remember children can take a while to settle into new routines.

• Talk Problems Through
  In the long term it is best to talk problems through with children and help them find more positive ways of behaving. This is best done away from a conflict situation when everyone is calm. Remember when talking things through it is best to listen to the child first, going slowly to understand their point of view and feelings before helping them think of other ways of behaving.

Handling Misbehavior

• Ignore Misbehavior
  Many parents inadvertently encourage misbehavior by giving it attention e.g. giving out, shouting, nagging etc. Simply by ignoring a lot of misbehavior will disappear. Remember to go out of your way to notice the opposite positive behavior that you want!

• Use choices and consequences
  Rather than nagging children when they misbehave, give them a choice about a consequence. For example 'Either you clean your toys away now or they will be taken off you for the day - it's your choice' or 'Either you come in now for tea or you will miss your favorite TV program tonight'

• Be Consistent
  If you do give a child a consequence to a rule, be prepared to enforce it. When they know you won't give in, problems will reduce.

• Be Calm
  All discipline problems are best managed in a firm but calm way. It is very tempting to get upset or have a go at a child but this doesn't work and leaves parent and child upset. If you feel yourself getting angry it may be best to withdraw, calm down, and then deal with the situation: 'I'm too upset to talk about what happened, I will deal with you later about it'

Most Important!!!!
Be kind to yourself as a parent

Though very effective positive discipline is hard work. You need to be positive and consistent for a long time. It's hard to do this if you feel tired or low. That's why it is very important for parents to be kind to themselves and to look their own needs.

It is important to find activities you can enjoy or relaxing, or to make sure you keep in touch with good friends and family. Basically by looking after yourself you are looking after your child. The more relaxed and refreshed you feel the more calm positive and consistent you will be.

Source: Rollercoaster (For the Ups & Downs of Pregnancy & Parenting)